NOT SPLITTING TWINS
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AT PRE-SCHOOL
I have twin non identical boys, Tom and Ryan. They started pre-school aged two and a half years old doing two mornings a week. After four months I spoke to the lady who runs it and she suggested that the boys do one more session a week. I agreed straight away as they clearly enjoyed their time there. Then she said that all the staff agreed that the boys would benefit from being split in that third session, in other words each come on different days. I asked why? Was there a problem with them together? The answer was that they seemed to meet up together during their mornings at certain activities and that perhaps Tom was following Ryan. But when I questioned this it turned out that they met up no more than you would expect two children to in a small hall with twenty eight other children.
I have taken the boys to toddler groups and have seen them playing in large groups of children and do not feel that they have an unhealthy need for each other. Obviously if one gets upset the other is obliged to come and laugh at him. If they walked around holding each other’s hands and insisting on always being together I would want them split up, but they don’t.
I personally feel that there is a tendency in people who do not have twins to look for signs of them clinging to each other and all too often they feel they must split up all twins for their own good. I value my time when they are in pre-school as I can do all the things they hate to do with me like the weekly shop and clothes buying. This then gives me more time to be with them doing what they want to do, which includes time when my husband and I can take one twin each.
AT SCHOOL
My children go to a small village school. Jacob started in September and George and Rebecca started in September the following year. I knew that there was only one reception class, and that the twins would be in the same class. In a large class they sat on separate tables and soon became independent of one another.
In December we were advised that, due to the growing numbers, a new teacher was to be appointed from January. The existing reception class was to be split up by age, and members of the class were to join the year one children on a two-tier teaching basis, which meant that the year one classes were now a mixture of reception and year one children. New pupils who joined in January became the reception children.
I received a letter advising us of the names of children in each class. Jacob remained with his existing teacher in class 2T, George and Rebecca were placed into class 2M. No discussion took place prior to this decision.
I was immediately cross when I received the letter. Why hadn’t they consulted me, I thought? Why haven’t they asked me whether I wanted George and Rebecca split up? As far as I could see, here was their only opportunity to be in a separate class and the school hadn’t appeared to consider it.
I went to the Headteacher and explained my concerns, thinking that George and Rebecca’s “special” situation had been overlooked. However, what I found out was that a great deal of agonising had gone on with several of the teaching staff, with George and Rebecca switching from one teacher to the next and back again.
Jacob was the problem!
However they tried to split the twins, one of them would have had to go into Jacob’s class. Was the need to split my twins more important than the disruption Jacob would experience with a younger brother or sister in his class? The school decided that Jacob’s situation took precedent, and therefore the twins stayed together.
I still feel that I would have liked some input into the decision made, but I agree that it was the right decision. So, three children can be more complicated than two!
Now, George and Rebecca are in class 2M with 3 other reception children. This means that they are now on the same table! They complain more, now that the other one butts in when they are talking about things they have done, and I think they would prefer to be separated, but it is not possible. I will leave things as they are unless I notice a real problem.
Who knows, there may be a chance to split them later. In the meantime, I will continue to hear everything that has happened during the school day twice over! They also can’t get away with doing anything naughty in the classroom because the other one tells me about it! When they’re older they’ll no doubt make a pact about not telling tales to mum!
